quotemyfoot: (Default)
I've been at a point in my life for about, oh, a month or two now where I'm just on the edge of going to do something really wonderful, and don't get me wrong or anything, I am super excite for this change in my life -- but the wait? Is getting old.

I mean, I'm leaving for uni a week tomorrow. Maybe it's because I'm tired right now but I just don't even feel that nervous about it right now. Just... the wait is so boring. I can't really do anything worthwhile here because hey, I'll be leaving soon, what's the point? Except for the reading list of many books that I have yet to work through. However, I'm trying to work through the important ones so I don't look like a total ass at least.

Uuuugh. Why can't I just do anything anymore? I mean I've always been a lazy procrastinator but this is really taking it to a whole new level. Do I just not work well outside of a school setting? I keep wondering if I'm going to get to uni and it'll turn out that I just can't function there because hey, lazy procrastinator who needs outside pressure to do her work and doesn't always do it even then. What if I'm just not cut out for the way they do things at uni? The possibility is frightening because I literally have nothing else to do with my life.

Oxford's been the thing I've been working towards for the past year and I didn't even work that hard for it to be truthful, but now I'm guaranteed a place there and it's just... blah. I don't know. I need a new motivation. Maybe I just need a personality transplant. I don't know what to do when things aren't easy.

What am I going to do with my life? I turned 19 two days ago and I don't know what I want to do with my future. Or rather I know what I'd like to do, I just doubt I have the ability to actually do it. Or not even the ability, I don't have the drive. Although I don't know, maybe I don't have the ability either.

Such a long and pointless ramble. This probably doesn't make any goddamn sense either. Blarggh. It would be nice if I had somebody to talk to about this but they'd just say the same things they always say and I didn't believe them the first million times. Apparently you're not allowed to worry about anything if you're clever. Unfortunately I don't work like that.

Jane Eyre

Jan. 27th, 2011 06:33 pm
quotemyfoot: (pretty jess)
I kinda wanted to dislike this book. Actually, to rephrase that, I was kinda predisposed to dislike this book. I don't like romance for the most part (Austen is the exception to this and romcoms are officially the worst of all things) and the Victorian-ish style of writing kinda grates on me as well, although I admit this is a prejudice from being forced to suffer Charles Dickens back in Year 10. Also admittedly, this is a prejudice that has not really been borne out apart from Dickens and the Great Gatsby, but I digress. I already knew what happened in Jane Eyre and I knew it was... kind of depressing. I mean, I like my woe as much as the next girl, but this book has had like two happy chapters out of twenty eight. I am like two thirds of the way through the book and things do not look set to improve soon.

And yet, I like it. I really like it! Jane is actually a surprisingly modern girl, Mr. Rochester has almost more manpain than Becker, both are flawed but likeable characters, their romance works, Mrs. Rochester is the creepiest ever and asdfjhskl; how is Jane going to get the happy ending, i must know unnnnn.

More depressing than any event in this novel: this shit was written like a hundred years before Twilight. stephenie meyer, how did you manage to set us back further than the fucking victorians

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quotemyfoot

October 2011

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